qizi / 61
He Gui watched as Zhi Shang gradually faded away in front of him, then breathed a sigh of relief.
“That settles one big headache, next…”
Halfway through his words, he looked down in disbelief. The dagger that just stabbed Zhi Shang was now completely immersed in his own chest, with only the handle left uncovered.
“You…”
His companion was expressionless, “The military isn’t that stupid. Framed crimes will raise suspicions sooner or later. Wouldn’t it be better to directly hand them the truth and let them know it’s you?”
“Then why did you still need to…” take the risk to kill Zhi Shang?
No. With one foot in the grave, He Gui finally understood that both himself and Zhi Shang were disposable—one grasped his secrets, one blocked his path. Two birds, one stone, but what a pity, he was the other bird.
Was it too late to only realize this now?
After sending two souls along one after the other, the real murderer picked up the remains they left on the ground. Step by step, he walked into the decrepit storeroom besides him. Since he didn’t have much time left, he needed to make haste if he wanted set the scene.
When Yao Tai got to the Base, all that was waiting for her was only a dagger left by her lover.
“I am sorry.”
Yu Quan’s head hung low as he handed the dagger over to her, as if this were his doing.
Yao Tai trembled as she received it; her appearance could no longer be described as “despair”. In Ling Xiao’s eyes, she’s always been the confident and proud Queen Yao, but today, he finally learned that sometimes, all it takes to crush a proud person is only three words.
Even he couldn’t help but feel a burst of sadness. That man, endlessly gentle and refined as he carried a light smile on his face, didn’t even get to say goodbye. He disappeared without a word just like that, and will never come back again.
“What the hell happened?” Even Yao Tai’s voice was shaking.
“A traitor appeared in the Base. Chief discovered his secret, and the two of them went down together. Evidence of that person’s betrayal has now been exposed, and others are frantically investigating this right now, so they sent me to deliver Chief’s remains to you.”
“How can there be a traitor?” She pressed for an answer.
Yu Quan was silent for a moment, “It’s Teacher. He’s still alive.”
Yao Tai took a heavy step back.
“Not only is he still alive, but he also kept in touch with someone at the Base. This was something the military already knew about, and this time, they used the excuse of 2.0’s theft to investigate whether the two of us were still involved with him. Chief didn’t tell you this before, I’m afraid because he didn’t want you to know the truth. He didn’t want you to know that not only is Teacher not dead yet, but that he also continues to walk the wrong path. It would only make you feel sad.”
“The one that kept in touch with him, who exactly was it?”
“He was a security personnel at the Base, called He Gui.”
Ling Xiao’s heart skipped a beat. He seemed to have heard this name somewhere before.
——Oh, by the way. We’ve been chatting for so long, but we still don’t know your name yet.
——I’m He Gui. You’re welcome to visit me if you have the opportunity to come here again in the future.
Thinking back to his words, he once expressed deep admiration for the former Chief. Could this be why he decided to be the insider for Tai Yin?
“And he’s already dead, yeah?” whispered Yao Tai.
“Yeah. They detected soul ascensions in Area Z. The first batch of people sent to check out what happened discovered traces of fighting in the old storeroom, then found the remains of two people. It turns out that He Gui has been keeping in touch with Teacher there. Chief must’ve accidentally run into him when he was passing by, and probably never thought this sort of thing was happening.”
Yao Tai was unusually calm as she lowered her head, “I understand.”
Her behavior startled Ling Xiao, but before he could say anything, he saw Yao Tai turn around. Although the streaks of tears on her cheeks were not dry yet, not a single teardrop rolled down her face.
“You two should go back.”
“Dr. Yao?”
“You were meant to just see me off at work. I’ll be staying here with my colleagues to investigate what really happened. After that, I’ll carry on Zhi Shang’s unfinished legacy. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Ling Xiao still wanted to say something, but Yao Tai broke him off with absolutely no room for discussion, “Go back.”
Ling Xiao and Ying Feng glanced at each other. Seeing no way around it, they could only turn around and leave.
Once they were out of sight, Yu Quan slowly opened his mouth.
“They’re gone now, so you can come out and say whatever’s on your mind. But if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, regardless of what comes out of your mouth this time, I will still stop you.”
Yao Tai tightly clenched the dagger in her hand, “How do you know?”
“The look in your eyes right now is exactly the same as Teacher’s back then. When Teacher went to find you that year to ask for your help, it was because of the three of us, your personality is the most similar to his. As a researcher at the Base, you must remain unconditionally calm and rational, but you both care too much about love, and even allow these emotions to take control of your own conduct. Even if you have the greatest talent for scientific research, you’re still not suited for this work. I advise you to simply give up.”
Ling Xiao was halfway out when he pulled Ying Feng back, “Why do I still have a bad feeling about this all? Dr. Yao gave off a really strange vibe, I keep thinking the truth isn’t as simple as she claimed.”
“I think so too, she acted too calm. It was abnormal.”
“This won’t do, I think we should go back and take a look,” he didn’t finish speaking yet but had already turned around. Ying Feng could only follow suit.
“I’m sorry,” Yao Tai deeply bowed her head, “He’s the man I love dearly. No matter what, I don’t want to be separated from him. Even if there’s only the slimmest chance, I still won’t give up…”
With a speed that was impossible to capture, Yao Tai winded around to Yu Quan’s back, and the dagger in her hand was solidly pressed against his heart. When Ling Xiao and co returned, what they saw was this unexpected scene.
“Dr. Yao!” shrieked Ling Xiao, “What are you doing?”
Yao Tai had completely lost sight of the outside world, and the madness in her head had perfectly consumed her, “Only you, only you can help me. Back when Shang Yang left us, it was you who found his reincarnation. Let’s just say I’m begging you, please, for the sake of having once been classmates, help me out one last time. Even if I have to use force, I still…”
There wasn’t the slightest change on Yu Quan’s poker face, and even his voice stayed steady as he spoke, “Once you find him, then what? You’ll be waiting 10 years, 20 years, and by the time he wakes up, you’ll be like Teacher and imprison him. Maybe at that time, you’ll have joined up with Teacher, and have researched a way to release the blood contract together. You’ll force Chief’s reincarnation to form a contract with you again, all because he was your lover in his previous life.”
“But have you ever considered how he won’t have any memories you’ve shared together at all? All those beautiful, romantic moments that you remember, they’re only tied to the name ‘Zhi Shang’. After reincarnating, he’s no longer Zhi Shang, he’s a brand new person, and you’re just a stranger in his life. Any memories you impose on him will only bring him pain.”
Yao Tai already started to softly sob. Yu Quan continued on.
“I get it. Losing your loved one has caused you great pain, but this kind of pain can’t be the start of another’s long pain. The biggest mistake I’ve made in my life was that in order to repay Teacher’s grace, I violated my own conscience.”
“A year after that incident happened, I saw Shang Yang’s reincarnation again. He made me realize how grave my mistake was, it’s why I chose to turn myself in. But even after all these years, there’s not a day that I feel free from remorse. I can’t ever forgive myself, it is me who ruined his life.”
“Someone should also mention I no longer have the jurisdiction to track soul reincarnations. But even if I did, I still wouldn’t help you. I’ve already wronged once, and I refuse to commit the same mistake twice. I don’t want Shang Yang’s tragedy to repeat itself on Chief. He’s gone now, let him reincarnate at ease.”
Yao Tai’s strength slackened. Ying Feng and Ling Xiao seized the chance to take the dagger away. She completely gave up resisting.
At this time, her face was ashen, “You’ve already rejected my one request. I hope you won’t reject my next one.”
“Dr. Yao, are you sure you want to do this?” On the way there, Ling Xiao didn’t know what he could say to salvage her decision. Even when they arrived in front of the Hall of Nightmares, he still hoped he could fight it one more time.
“My heart is set, there’s no need to persuade me anymore. Though I never would’ve guessed that it’d be you two who’d take me on this last ride.”
Her gaze drifted across the faces of the two, “From the moment I formed a contract with Zhi Shang to now, I’ve wielded my authority over him twice. Other than that one time I injected Embers, it was during the time when Teacher fled. It was clear that he could’ve initiated the interception protocols, yet I restricted his movements.”
“Choosing to help my teacher has also been my biggest mistake. I’ve lived in guilt for so many years, it’s hard to imagine I almost followed in Teacher’s footsteps today.”
“I shared many years of love with Zhi Shang. Even when there was such a rift between us, he still never blamed me. Without his presence in this unbearable life, if death had to take him from me, I had hoped that that moment would also be my last. Then maybe in the next life, we can meet again.”
“But you once clearly said that even if two people died at the same time, they may not necessarily awaken at the same time. In this boundless sea of people, it’s nearly impossible for two people who’ve forgotten the past to find each other and fall in love again,” said Ling Xiao urgently.
“As a bystander, it was easy to be objective and rational when I said that. But now that I’m on the other side, I’ve realized how difficult it is to live on without him. Even if chances of meeting again are next to nothing, I still want to fight for it.”
“But…”
“Don’t try to dissuade me, this is my decision. Before I leave, I’d like to have a few words with you alone.”
Yao Tai called Ling Xiao aside.
“Ling Xiao, I actually never told you this before, but of the two of you, I’ve always been more partial to Ying Feng. If one of you were bound to be a Qizi, I even hoped that it’d be you.”
Ling Xiao’s breathing hitched.
“Because you have a resilience in you that he doesn’t have. He’s unable to tolerate failure, but you have the prospects to overcome it. On this aspect alone, you are much stronger than him.”
“But no one should have to be a Qizi. The reason why I had this sort of opinion was entirely born from my selfish musings as a school doctor. A 0% possibility was raised to 1%, but that was 100% unfair to you. I’m very sorry you had to go through that.”
The rims of Ling Xiao’s eyes gradually reddened.
“About that secret you made me keep, I’ve kept it. But it’s not because you asked.”
“Because when it comes to this kind of thing, I think it should be up to you to personally tell him, not anyone else.”
“I hope that day comes soon. Don’t wait until it’s too late before you realize the one you want to confess to is no longer around.”
She gave Ying Feng one last look, “Ying Feng is someone who’s very insensitive towards feelings. Sometimes you need to say it aloud before he knows what to do. But if you never say it, then he will never know.”
On that note, Yao Tai turned around and resolutely walked towards the Hall of Nightmares. Yu Quan was already waiting for her by the door.
Ying Feng walked over, “What did she say to you?”
As soon as his words fell, Ling Xiao suddenly leaped into his arms and hugged him tightly, his quivering shoulders giving away his reason for behaving this way.
Ying Feng froze. A few moments later, he hesitantly raised both hands, and slowly rested them on Ling Xiao’s back.
Bell tolls rang out from the Hall of Nightmares, and Ying Feng turned his head. Like a mourning song, this sound dripped with bad omen.
Hearing the bell, the man in his arms started to restlessly squirm. Ying Feng lifted his hand to cup the back of his head.
“Don’t look.”
The man in his arms didn’t move anymore. He buried his head deeply into Ying Feng’s chest, his tears falling silently.
Yao Tai’s soul flew up into the air and fell back down again, disappearing into the Purification Pool. She’ll once again fall asleep, wake up, and perhaps come across Zhi Shang again, starting their lives anew.
The author has something to say:
This chapter was conceived very, very, very early on. As early as Yao Tai’s first appearance, her fate was already sealed, and each conversation between them has reverberated over and over in my head a decent number of times.
But it’s also because it was so early that the current me already…forgot about it, making this chapter very, very, very painful to write.
Similar to the feeling of not reaching the HIGH after a climax…it’s too agonizing.
Hopefully I still have enough emotions brewing to fix it.
The author is truly very ashamed.
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